The Gift of Love {Appointments}

The Gift of Love {Appointments}

Oct 19, 2017

We make appointments for the majority of things in our life, but how often do we make appointments for L O VE. Time dedicated to the art and practice of presence, feeling, receiving, giving, enjoying and sharing. A romantic night with the promise of passion to follow is not the same thing as sacred time dedicated to the art of love and ritual of lovemaking.

Imagine for a moment: how would our world be different if people dedicated a little more time to their love life, to their own pleasure, personal desires and relational fulfillment, and especially to everything that was in the way of all the above. It involves communication, vulnerability, and commitment, and is both healing and transformative.

Enter the Love Appointment.

A time scheduled for conscious lovemaking and made sacred through the infusion of ritual and presence.

We schedule LOVE into our calendar, and we tell our body that love is of worth… that we are worthy of love.  

For some, the first reaction may be that it feels like a wet blanket.

We’ve gotten to the point that we need to plan lovemaking? How not romantic.

On the contrary!

How beautiful is it that you prioritize lovemaking in your life?

No one can deny the busy fast paced world that we are living in. Our minds love to fill up our days with things to do. So much so, that it has become much harder to enjoy life; to make time for friends and fun, and be present while doing so, let alone to be present with our lover, able to easily feel and receive the subtle sensations in our bodies, registering it as pleasure.

Creating the space, and scheduling time for LOVE is extremely supportive not only for our intimate relationship, but also for our personal relationship with our sexuality, our body, our pleasure, and our overall health.

When we create an appointment for love, we create the time and space for our body to relax and to receive.

For women, love appointments are extremely supportive as it is an allotted period of time that is dedicated to connecting through intimacy and lovemaking. This allows the mental body to soften and the body to relax. So often during lovemaking, there is a Rolodex of thoughts and To-Do lists running through one’s mind. By scheduling time at the end of the evening (could also be in the morning!) for a night of lovemaking, there is a higher chance of quieting the mind and a greater opportunity to enter into the body more fully. With presence and practice, we can recondition our experience to be one of connection to the sensations in our body, rather than checking out and/or feeling numbness.

I don’t think anyone can argue, especially a man, that when a woman is present in lovemaking and really enjoying herself, lovemaking is a completely different experience. (In another blog post I will speak more to Women’s Sexuality + Receiving)

Very practically, what is a Love Appointment?

A time scheduled in your week for you, your beloved, and lovemaking.

What is important is that when you schedule a love appointment, you keep it, just as you would keep a work appointment. There are no excuses! When you feel tired, or you just got in an argument, the love appointment becomes even more important.


You clean your space.

You light the candles.

You turn on gentle music (only if preferable)

You take showers.

By doing the above, an energy that is sacred and special is created, which is pleasurable to the senses and further invites the body and mind to relax.

You begin the Love Appointment with a ritual to open, just as you use a ritual to close. The Love Appointment is a ceremony, an offering, and the closing and opening are significant in the process of creating a container for anything and everything to emerge.  

I will spare all the details of the Rituals, but I will speak to one important piece:

Bowing to Love. Love with a capital L.

You are not bowing to each other, or even to the love you feel for your partner, but rather to a Love that is much greater and grander than any individual.

In situations where there is a heavier emotion present in the relationship when the Love Appointment was scheduled, this is a beautiful opportunity for the heavier energy to be transmuted into Love through the lovemaking.

When coming into a love appointment, don’t be surprised if you feel resistance bubbling. (This is more common for women but can happen for men, too.)

Love appointments are an invitation to slow down, to be present, to feel, and to allow the energy that is present to express itself without trying to force or change it. When in a love appointment, you have the space to be vulnerable, and to be truly seen by your partner, and by yourself. To varying degrees, we may struggle with this truth. We may also struggle with being fully present in our bodies, and to be able to feel the sensation of pleasure. To create space in a love appointment to touch these vulnerable aspects of our ourselves is not always easy, and it is understandable why one could avoid, subconsciously or consciously, this experience. 

And what if you are single?

Have a love appointment with yourself! This is beautiful and equally as important. It may not technically be considered a Love appointment, but technicality aside, it is just that – a time for self love. Sexy time with yourself! Which, for a women, is essential. Time for you to explore the sensual energetic nature of your body in a conscious and sacred way.

Carving out sacred time and space for this practice of Love appointment is indeed a true gift: for our Self, for our Relationship, and as result to everyone in our world.

May we all rejoice in the power and magic of living a love and pleasure filled life, and feel how our world would change if we accepted pleasure as a path of spirituality, and as a way of living.

Why do we do this work of healing and transformation anyways? To be in a place in our human experience where we feel free to enjoy and celebrate!

How blessed are we to have these amazing bodies which allow us to feel, and to receive pleasure, and to share this phenomenon with another.

Bless, and be blessed!

DISCLAIMER: The official Love Appointment as taught to us by our Tantra teacher, Sarita, has a meditation at the beginning of each Love Appointment, which evolve in sequence as you continue with the love appointments. For the sake of keeping this post digestible, as well as honoring the origins and structure of this work, I left this part out.



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